Relationships: A perspective shared... is a perception created

Here is a situation and the thought becomes the action and the action is called the decision that is taken in the present moment. WE all know that we have manifested every direction we’ve taken and that becomes the central thought of every action we take for manifestation really is a state of mind and the mind states the manifestation that we call “miracle”.
A simple human being becomes a super natural human being when he/she is able to look at the brilliance of the moment in the way it is meant to be, with the newest experience meant just for you.
Here , let me break it up for you!!
In every situation we face in life… there are but 2 ways of looking at it… one is from the perspective of history… two, from the perspective of the future…Deepanjali Rao (as I write this, I know there is another phenomenal breakthrough that awaits me... yippee … I can almost feel it in my flow of thoughts) and we therefore draw conclusions that effect our present state of being.
Sometimes thoughts find their ways to communicate the same thing… as I complete this piece… I realize… that another similar thought just found expression in another article I just finished writing. But then again… the “TO DO” list included completing this one as well… hmmm… you can imagine the feeling I am going through as I write this… I ask my inner voice the direction this article is meant to take… and well… here’s the really loud shout… “It’s about RELATIONSHIPS… dearest. The thought and direction you have been asking for… for such a long freaking time”. I’m wondering, if this is the EGO’s perspective on relationships ;) this is going to be a good one I think… for all of us are looking for reasons why some relationships make us feel superlative and the others simply urgh!!!
Being in a relationship isn’t about JUST having someone around to handle your volatile emotions or your need to be pampered and put on a pedestal. Its really about being able to understand the underlying truth about the challenges you pose… and thereafter, are posed straight back through a relationship reflection. Often, in a relationship, we get so emotionally attached and attracted to each other, that every reaction we have is “UNIQUE” to every situation, however, my study of over 20 relationship issues in the last couple of years, has pointed me in just ONE direction… hmm…
In every situation we face in life… there are but 2 ways of looking at it… one is from the perspective of history… two, from the perspective of the future…
In almost every relationship, certain questions find mention and thoughts find definition… for at a sub conscious level, the brain finds a way to co relate the thought with an incident of the past or a vision of the future before we take a decision on it in the present moment, judge it… and treat it like we understand best how to.
This brings us back to the point of being ATTACHED or DETACHED to a person or a situation in which both people are. We are influenced by people who’ve been there and done it… but the key… to a successful relationship lies on the model we are basing it upon. Most girls, mentally model their husbands on their father’s and boys model their thought of a perfect wife on that of their mother. Hmmm… this isn’t a breakthrough… but I guess you already knew it… if you didn’t well… please remember that you read it first on deealive.blogspot.com … ha ha ha.
But what happens to fatherless girls and motherless boys… they have to create their models… and often their first model is their own family… which may not exist in its entirety but yes has its own identity. A relationship often remains attached… YET… detached… till we remodel it… on the basis of what we need… from him or her... with the hope that attaching an emotional link makes the relationship stronger. However, the detachment begins when the emotional link becomes redundant over a period of time and change in our own belief layering, which builds our personality.
In the last couple of months I tried a new trick, which I am now going to share with you… try it… it may work for you too. I got oh! So attached to a special someone and built my entire world around this one person… often leading to fluctuating emotions which actually caused a rift… I looked at constantly getting emotional support and supporting to every claim he made… and some of it were pure judgments based on some of the life experiences I’ve had over a period of time. Was I being fair to either one of us… hmmm… Hell NO. I was just feeding on emotions that didn’t ever really connect us… for with every thought and action came a question he did not care to answer and I took at admittance of GUILT… hmmm… silence speaks volumes… but the volume of the thought depends largely on your own mindless ranting and assumptions… all of which are pretty relevant when you allow the thoughts in your head to become the reality you seek.
A few months of silence later, we got talking… and this time round… well things suddenly seemed different… the thought of losing him did not as much as occur to me… I guess the period of being away played a super important role in putting the relationship in perspective… there were NO wants involved… there were no conditions… there were no promises made… so no promises broken… and life began all over again. I lived through the separation and honestly life wasn’t bad at all… just gave me the space to realize that in a relationship, well, its not how much you get… but how much you are able to give each other… in learning to love myself completely, I learnt to love him completely. We still face the same problems sometimes… but the remodeling, well has helped in understanding each other better and learning to completely respect each other for the people we are. He calls me BRAT when I am throwing a tantrum or making too many demands… hmmm… by definition… well BRAT’s always want their way… and so he deals with me just the way you deal with a BRAT… in fact… nothing has changed… just the perception of the phase has created a new communication. I chose to let go of modeling our relationship based on past relationships or history we’ve shared with each other… or the history of my parents oh so not happening relationship and every thought, stems from just one new belief… “everyday in everyway our relationship is getting better and better” and that is just what is happening… we are growing closer, our understanding of each other isn’t based on the way we understood relationships. There is not an attachment that is fixed… we accept the changing moods, changing figures ;) and changing thoughts as part of growing our relationship from strength to strength… we now are learning to understand the space we require to simply be… and the space that requires for us to be WE.
It has taken a break up… heartache… “I don’t need you”, “I don’t care”, “I don’t want you”, “I don’t need you”, “being with you is choking my existence” and the quintessential “I want HIM/HER back at any cost or I’ll never be whole again.” For us to conclude, that we are bigger than all of this… and yes LOVE does conquer all, no situation or circumstance is bigger than love… and in accepting the hard times… we invite the good times back… only so that we may completely and honestly model our relationship on the true joys of being together, in loving and being loved, still fully intact.
Another TO DO is done… and am free to explore a new learning… a new direction a new space of thought…
Hmmm…. Looks like… my next piece will be modeling leadership… which in my opinion is a trait we are born with… we don’t acquire it… we just have to reach into our inner self and give it a chance to breathe strong… Hmmm… read and comment…. And … I’ll repeat for you again… and remember… you read it first on my blog :)
In every situation we face in life… there are but 2 ways of looking at it… one is from the perspective of history… two, from the perspective of the future…

Choose your REACTION to any situation

Meaningless ranting fills the soul with so much stress, for the list of THINGS TO DO becomes large… when you know that you are going to be in the frame of painful thoughts often, without realizing it the mind starts to strategically map the extent of damage it is going to cause you.
In recent articles and conversations there has been an overwhelming majority of people who continue to speak of their lives so bogged down by the circumstances, relationships, work pressure, recession and of course the weather. In an internal analysis, I’ve observed a very important trend that seems to fill each of these phenomena. The inner voice saying “me too!”
Most conversations become most important because of the empathy factor. Please notice that often the empathy factor only comes when not too much good is happening… when good is happening… we often hear an inner voice that says “hmmm… why not ME”. Thus, as an entity we detach ourselves from the excitement that the other person feels.
Once you understand the inner voice and the direction it leads you toward. You start to understand the remote control that often you lend to other people… and they play their part brilliantly… they know they can control your actions and reactions with the power of a thought.
Over a period of time… you are accustomed to react in a particular way to every situation and before you realize it… your thought pattern is an identity that people refer to as your personality. The personality is only therefore as volatile as the circumstance presented to it. Bring bad news… and the personality becomes depressive and hurt. Bring in Good news and the personality becomes buoyant and peppy… You feel exactly that which you are programmed to feel.
Last week, my team was laid off… and it threw my brains into an overdrive for a couple of minutes… millions of questions popped up… demanded that I better know the answers. I knew that I would need to council them almost immediately how to deal with the CIRCUMSTANCE and not make it an identity. It was essential to create an atmosphere of “whatever happens, happens for the best” and ensure that this does not become the FULLSTOP to possibly bigger dreams coming true for them. When the letters were handed over, they took it without letting the “OH I AM SO SORRY” speech before the letter get to them, they spoke like it was a comma, a pause in their professional lives, that would only open windows of opportunity, possibly where their talents and learning from this organization could prove to be… totally relevant to their new profiles. In action, was the remote control, their remote controls had been programmed to accept the challenge and channel their energies to achieving greater heights in their professional lives.
And now my TO DO list is exhausted… this needed to find the form of this note… to be shared… I cannot explain how much this piece was aching to be written… every hour brought a new thought… and every new thought asked… WHY IT HAD NOT BEEN written … and I said… “hmmm, I am a little too busy worrying” and the inner voice says, “just as much for others… this piece is meant for you… worrying will only take aware prerequisite of being positive…”
Here’s the lesson I must learn… says the inner voice
“To live a full life… we need to change the remote programming… Attach yourself to happiness, be present in the moment, enjoy every feeling that comes with happiness… you will set up magnetizing more of it… DETACH yourself when it comes to sadness… be the observer… you do not need to identify or get sucked in by the dark emotions looming around such conversations.”

DeeQuote

it takes more stress to unlearn what you believe to be true... that is the greatest challenge of life... So UNLEARN A BELIEF TODAY :-)

I forgive...

lets forgive what we cannot forget... It makes the pain disappear even when deceit REappears: Deepanjali