An Open Letter: Thank you for breaking my heart :)

I really want to THANK YOU for the joy you've unknowingly given me... I guess I didn't realise the power of this trip till I finally took the decision to take the flight to GOA. The joy I've felt since I reached the city is phenomenal... last year I came here and my Professional life took a turn for the best. This year I knew it was to be a year of PERSONAL breakthrough and so, it is proving to be.

God knows what's best... I believe that more now than ever... it broke my heart to see our plan go down in sinking sand. It hurt so bad when I first felt it... I was horrified at the way I felt... Yet it presented itself as an opportunity to back off with my dignity intact. Loving you is my LEARNING and in ACCEPTING the LESSON... my release. The discovery is that my attachment to you really has more to do with LEARNING than loving and in accepting that I've released all the bad feelings. Maybe, the only reason God introduced you into my life was to help me understand myself better and learn to love being my own person.

I have never doubted you love me... just that maybe... we're both looking for a very specific type of relationship and both of us are very SURE of what we want... we've changed stances over and over again to accommodate each other. I can vouch for the many changes I've seen through the 2 and a half years of knowing you and I really do appreciate all the changes you've made to TRY and adjust to us being together :) As we continue to evolve personally so do our relationships with each other and with God, in whom we both TRUST, far more than we know it ;)

I know God puts us through these phases to teach us something new... each time a new lesson appears!!! It is beautiful to see how magnificent God's love is in our lives...HIS PURPOSE is reflected through the FIRST EXPERIENCES of our relationship. You are a bouquet of firsts for me and I am truly grateful for ALL THE GOOD and the NOT SO GOOD that have come from our knowing each other. I know there's lot more to come... God's using us in each other's lives to REFINE us into GOLD... Our ACCEPTING this will make the hills and valleys an adventure!!!

I truly wish we could've used this GOA time to REDEFINE our KNOWING... Yet, God seemed to have different plans... I wish I knew them... falling off the HAPPINESS of BEING with you DREAM has landed me in the lap of God's plan for my life... and it's making me SMILE... for I know that HIS plans are always better than our plans.

Please forgive me if I reacted immediately to you breaking my heart... it took a while to ALLOW GOD to pick up the pieces with me and enable able to see you through his love for me more than always wanting to see me through your love for me!!!

Have yourself a MERRY CHRISTMAS and blessed 2011

I love you... for you're Jesus' gift of LEARNING to ME!!!

Good Friday

The name of the day in the normal flow of life is pretty misleading. Good Friday isn’t a day of jubilant celebration in is a day of spiritual celebration. This is the day in the Christian calendar that marks the end of life as we all know it and the beginning of a greater life.

While I’ve given you a link on my favourite information site on the subject of Good Friday. I’d like to share with you my own personal agenda for this day. For me, this year a new thought has given this day a whole new twist and a bright new meaning. I am hoping that a lot of new see this new perspective of Good Friday as a step forward in your quest for a new understanding of your own motivations in life.

Jesus, was a simple man, his belief made him extra ordinary and that is what he wants as an experience of him for each one of us. Its easy to be an ordinary person, with ordinary belief, live an ordinary life and die an ordinary death. He wants for us to take a closer look at how his life changed when he took an extra ordinary step. To believe most in the power of his thought, of course, the route isn’t easy, the The Stations of the Cross is like his walk down memory lane of the 33 years he walked the earth, his belief, that he was so special to the Creator that, in remembrance of his death and resurrection each one of us will lead more inspired lives.

Jesus, underwent all of this to let us know, that we are equally special, that our problems, no matter how big in our minds, is pale in front of that which he was put through, that we must derive strength to take on our little problems HEAD ON. How many times do we allow our problems to weigh on our enthusiasm, love and health? If we could take one quick look at Jesus’ problems, would not our problems pale? Would we then, not be moved to saying Thank you Jesus?  We are motivated to hurt and grieve by problems created by us. Jesus, allowed the most cruel infliction upon himself, only for us to understand just that… what a power sacrifice… what a brilliant example of an extra ordinary life, made extra ordinary and life changing by vision.

Jesus, lived a simple life with an extra ordinary belief in humanity. He reached out by choice not by compulsion. He was moved by his deep belief in God’s creation, a human being. As he continued his sharing and healing, Jesus wanted us to know something very simple, when you share of yourself with another human being, you lift his spirit to share and thus is created a ripple of goodness. How many times, are we truly able to reach out and create special moments for people other than ourselves? Don’t we first want to know HOW we benefit? How many times, have we taken life in our stride and truly believed that everything does happen for the best!!

My experiences with Jesus began when I was all of 2-3 years. My Dadima repeats this story each time, she needs to tell a story of me. Its most beautiful when she tells it. I am going to shorten, really shorted the version for the essence of it.

Dadima: “Deepa, you don’t ask me any questions. Kittu, asks so many! Where does the sun go in the night? Where do the stars go in the day?”. Deepa looks back at her Dadima, most amused, that she should be making such a statement or questioning her knowledge skills and replies, “That is because I know it.” Dadima is even more curious to know what her little grandchild is so confident in knowing and asks, “then, you tell Dadima!”. Deepa smiles and says “Because Jesus wants it!!!”

Simple!!

To this day, this holds true for me. Jesus has been telling me what to do, where to go? How to tackle everyday. How to face the pain? How to share the pain? How to live my life in his guidance… each day is a miracle I live in trusting his design for my life. He in turn, is so generous with giving me more reasons to live in gratitude. Thank you Jesus. Today, through this new understanding of his motivation to be crucified, comes a greater humility to follow his footprint. He isn’t counting the steps, nor is he asking me to keep the pace in the world set to race. He has just let me know once again, that he does have every answer, if and only if I am ready to listen and follow.

Here my friends is what Jesus wants us to know this Good Friday and as I write this, I believe, with all my heart, that I receive this just as the 3 year old received this 30 years ago, with faith and pure innocence. I know not what you will derive from it, or what you will hold on to… all I know is that I must share it!

Jesus didn’t do this for a particular community or religion. He did this for every creation of God, he took the path less tread that we may know it and release our own burden.

Jesus, healed, you can heal too. Just know that you were created with a free will. Free will to be an extra ordinary human being with special powers, each power is waiting for you to claim it.

Jesus, prayed for long hours, not to save himself, he did it so as to be able to hear the voice of the creator so clearly, that no matter what the reality projected into his conscious mind, he just KNEW. Spend time in silence, silence is a prayer. Silence is the is the door that opens you up to a life greater than expected or accepted.

Jesus, spoke and shared his thoughts. He did this for memories to live on. He spoke, that we might repeat it. We must find time to quieten our minds each day, to receive divine guidance and pump in every iota of faith into these words of wisdom, that we might continue to be blessed and bless each breath with gratitude, for the only time we most fear the loss of a breath, is when we feel we may never breath again..

Remember, to live each day cheerfully following your deepest instinct, there is nothing more rewarding than truly believing. Create a memory each day, these are the stories that will live beyond your living years.

I am so grateful for the joy of receiving this, for sharing it and for a new perspective on living it.

Before I sign off this post, here is a simple way to make the breakthrough of life you’ve always been WAITING for! This Sunday is Easter, the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead. Let this be a day marked to give yourself a brand new perspective on life. Buy an Easter Egg, the symbol of new life, for from an egg a chicken is born! In cracking it open, believe, that you have triggered a new beginning for the rest of your life. The more fun you create around the ceremony of cracking open the egg. The more significant a memory you’ll create of the day you decided to chance your very perspective.

Good Friday, you are the gift Jesus gave me. Thank you for being my guide and wisdom.

In conversation with….

…Dee. I’ve been doing almost nothing for a week and its disturbing me. Just a couple of meetings , cricket and Veer have filled up my diary for the week. Would you believe that for the last 24 hours I’ve been feeling unwell… finding it rather tiring, mentally to handle this.

Just the feeling of letting my mind wander into the vacant spaces in my life is causing more pain… for all of you who have been through this… let me know how you got out… and for those who are hearing of this for the first time… mark this space for the symptoms ;)

I don’t know if it is easier to bust your ass for someone else’s profit or work for yourself. In the last couple of months its been more meetings than work. I am wondering if that is the way all business starts… everyday there is a new learning and its fascinating and frustrating to learn at snail pace.

It is amazing how the point of thought changes from auto to manual. For most of us who are used to working for other people and finding all that could be set right in their processes there is an even greater pressure to create a world called business that is led by empowering the human spirit instead of burdening it with profit loss and revenue. For if you have read the lives of  people who made it big… I’ve had the joy of meeting and working with some of them… It is fascinating to see how passion led their path even when all else told them to quit!!

Making this frustration count is the story that must be told. You need to fight the internal need to take it easy to make things happen and you will be surprised how brilliant the path that unfolds is… there is a special excitement in the unfolding.

The power path of gratitude during this phase is the most intriguing…

Presentations that used to be 60 minutes of work have how converted to 60hrs… in thanking God for the blessing of being able to complete it… was a prompt to call a friend I’d promised to call… the learning… “ Get yourself to a Cafe Coffee day or a Five Star Hotel lounge and make your presentations… It gets done in a flash” . In accepting that things are going at snail pace is a realisation in itself I guess. In meeting or getting to know more people who are possibly headed in the same direction, the fascination that there is more to what I can do than I can’t.

Another brilliant understanding, well, you need a space you define as office to get into the mode of WORK. Simple, we associate home with rest, comfort and relaxation. Therefore, working from home, slows the pace of work. You take more breaks than you’d take while in office. Things to do at home continue to come in focus and take most of your time and attention. There is also this overwhelming need to switch on the TV and check what’s airing… just for a break… that takes up enormous time.

The connection between the calls you get are the thoughts you think. When I need a little bit of advice or want to share a thought manifested … more often than not… the phone rings… it usually is a call from someone who will not only listen patiently, who will also point to a possible way forward. The fascinating fact about being in this phase is that, it takes moments like writing these thoughts and making new foundations for remaining fascinated by the process. Till I started writing this piece, I didn’t realise how precious every manifestation really is… I am thankful, more now, than ever for every frustration… in sharing it… unedited from the core of my being comes the realisation that all is SWELL in my abundant world.

Got to sign out now… I’m waiting for another answer and the phone is going to ring ;) 

MahiFesting II

When I first chanced upon the joy of manifesting 11 years ago, the point of introduction was FAITH. The place: Divine Retreat Centre, POTTA. The understanding WHOOPIE!!!

Back then, I knew no technique or didn't have too much insight on the working of miracles. I just BELIEVED and life manifested its glories one at a time. The gift continues to be faith that Jesus created me super special... for super special reasons and even though it may sound way out of the normal... well it has been true for me today, as it has been for all the years I've chosen a path more through instinct than distinct knowledge about it. I have believed this for so long that super special reasons to be thankful come up each and every moment of my life. Keeping a gratitude journal can sometimes be a true pleasure and very time consuming... when you truly assess all that you need to be grateful for.

The other day, as I sat and wrote in my gratitude journal, while I thanked, I thought, I heard, I was confused and then I decided to dwell on the thought and figure out the trigger or the reason why the thought is repeating itself. I have come to realise, when you do reach the trigger of any change in your life, it has an unlikely HERO of an incident that initiated that shift.

In the last 3 years, I've been developing my ability to follow my instincts and that too has come from a very unusual source. For those of you who have known me and know me, know about the Dhoni chapter. My fascination with the man and the many manifestations seeded by instinct and confirmed by results. It's such a brilliant rush to even remember them right now that it fills every thought with a million memories that seem to have created super impact points in my life. Where I am today is a result of the trigger of that one moment and the brilliance that it has brought to every other area of my life.

While being fascinated with Mahi, well, I learnt a trick or two about following my instincts... I learnt how to take an action immediately, based on an instinct. Learn to look at the brighter side of things (this applies, especially to the few matches we've lost), control on my cigarettes... ha ha ... it makes us lose games ;). For the first time I am a fan of a cricket team... I know all the players by name and slowly getting to know their game ;) I find it easy to take up a challenge and simply believe that it shall come to pass and the bigger lesson... well... letting go. Brilliance, is to find the pattern and predict. I've even learnt how to visualise and manifest... many lessons ONE crush and growing strong each day.

What all did I manifest before I discovered the hidden lesson of following my instincts??? Well, 2 phenomenal matches at Delhi... both times, Chennai Super Kings beat Delhi on their home ground. Actually meeting with him and chatting up with him... can't complete this without mentioning Divya Puri, who actually dragged me and made me say "Hello" and stood beside me, whispering in my ears about this being MY DREAM... and the pumping up statements of JUST DO IT!! Love you Divya for the bestest present as a friend ever. Another person who I cannot finish this piece without mentioning, well Tania Suri, who did a number special little things for me and made me smile. Whenever she would get a picture of him, she'd promptly mail it to me or call me the moment she saw him or spoke to him. I guess I spoke so much about him to so many people that most of my friends often think or call me the moment they see him. How exciting, since it has resulted in more calls from friends and the trigger is something as omnipresent as Mahi on a hoarding. What was even more fascinating than meeting him, was the ability to differentiate between being a fan and being fascinated and actually telling him about it. Maybe, in a brilliant way, not closing the circle of the meeting, he still owes me a picture which I took a rain check on ;) I was surprised to have noticed the fact that the meeting was a manifestation of exactly how I thought it would be, nothing more, nothing less. Also, made me realise that anything is possible with me I just need someone to drag me to do it. The phenomenal result, well, I've heightened by manifesting prowess.

He doesn't even know me... He met me only once... I just know that there are more special moments that will manifest from this manifestation someday soon, triggered by the acknowledgment of the lesson. Someday soon, you may hear him mention me : ) another manifestation waiting in the wings.

Here's what I want for you, when you read this. I'd love for you to flip through your memories to search for your lesson, acknowledge it. Think of all the UNLIKELY Hero's in your life, that have created the person you are today. Acknowledge the brilliance of your life, special, just the way it is. I feel blessed to have a story to share and I hope I have been able to trigger a new process of manifesting... or as I would like to now call it... MahiFesting. The very name feels like a celebration in itself.

To all my friends who giggle and grin... love you for listening to me ranting about him all the time... like a love sick puppy... a few manifestations later, these will be the stories you tell of me... glad I created a memory you won't forget. I'll remind you to tell me... 10 years from now... when we laugh then... it will be nostalgia of own growing older and kinkier ;)