A Woman of Substance…. My Mom!

Yesterday was a super special day for me! It was a day of new found appreciation for a very special person in my life. I am a very proud daughter of a very very solid woman of substance. today I dedicate a post to a woman I have fought with so often, that I can’t keep count and yet, I adore her in more ways than all the words in this post can ever express.

I would like to proudly introduce you to my best friend and greatest enemy… my mom…. Blossom Rao. It takes a million experiences to get myself to write this post and yesterday, bundled it all into one big awesome need to truly celebrate my mother.

Through my years of growing up, I found a million faults it the way she managed her life, often fought with her when we didn’t agree on things. I’ve made her feel awfully guilty for putting so much responsibility on my young shoulders. Damn… l’ve given her enough grief to deal with ;). She has filled me with a million fears that keep me from taking a step without consulting her, moved me to WANT more from my own life, from relationships, from the world.

Yesterday, as I spent the day helping my grandmother from the hospital to her new home, the senior citizens home. I realised how special my mother is to me. I realised how of the million reasons I have to call her my greatest PAIN are in fact the million reasons she stands out amongst the crowds of people I know.

Born to her parents rather late in their lives, my mother was a BRAT…. and might I add still is!! In a very brilliant way, she’s allowed the child in her to continue to be inspite of every challenge she has faced. Her true  test really began at the awesome age of 29 when her husband and my father, wrote her a letter telling her that he was marrying another woman and that she should put the 3 of us in school and find herself a job! Damn…. Can you imagine what that moment must’ve been like!!! I dread to imagine it myself…. and yet here, I am trying to reconstruct a drama that gave the BRAT reason to prove to the world that she IS!!

Abandoned by family, she began the long journey of life, being reminded more often than not, in almost a diabetic way, that her life was a mess because of the millions of wrong decisions she’d taken… and yet, with each decision she’d managed to bring up 3 vibrant young women and take care of her deaf aged mother in a rather “Male Dominated” city of Delhi. She prayed her way through getting us into school… a miracle… of meeting two old students of her school who were now the Head Mistress and Principal of Convent of Jesus and Mary. Working at the school and tuitions each evening for us to get our meals. Family gatherings were often marked with mentions of how she came late… I wonder why no one ever thought how traumatic it would’ve been for her to bring her broken self and under dressed children to these HIGH SOCIETY family events. Where, while on ONE hand we were hugged and kissed and showered with attention. There was never a moment’s respite of PITY for “THE GIRLS” or a taunt or two, for Blossom who was always late!! Each time would’ve been a DIG where it hurt!! There were a million people, family to tell her where she was wrong and how they had been hard done by her!

My deepest gratitude to the few people who truly knew her for the bundle of sheer power she is. I only just discovered it :)) They saw her for the awesomeness of power for which she is known and loved and deep within she is but a GIRL!

And to the rest of them… Thank you… You made MOM the ROCK SOLID woman she is… She fought so hard to keep afloat INTERNALLY that strangers were a piece of cake!! God Bless you truly… and you know who you are… names will betray all that Mom has ever stood for to this day… and so I am going to respect that!

It is surprising that in 33 years of my life with her, I was always made to see what was NOT RIGHT with her. By her own!!! I have heard numerous stories about all the things that were not quite right about her. It hurts me NOW to think, that these are the people who I believed while growing up stood for something more important and valuable. Today I see them for who they are… and I see my mother tower above them… way above!!! It is such a gratifying experience to know that I was born of a woman who stands for something more solid than wealth! I it humbling to know that I am in her list of priorities immaterial of anything I have ever said to hurt her, knowingly and unknowingly. I am blessed to have a mother who still speaks so warmly of the very people who shunned her and taunted her when all she really needed was for them to tell her they’re there, unconditionally. I am filled with even more gratitude, that Mommy allowed me the freedom to draw my own conclusions about these people, while still holds the good in them close to her heart.

I have seen promises being broken and her heart being torn… I have seen her cry for attention and I have seen her cry from pain… I have see her in a temper and I’ve seen her calm and composed. I have seen her drink herself to sleep and pray that the day that followed would be different. I now see her strong and completely in charge of her life… and I see her obsession with farmville as an expression that she is OKAY with being on her own.

It isn’t JUST because she’s my mother, that I see what is special about her… today I see her as a woman, to a woman … I see the waywardness of my own affection… I see the truth of the people who CLAIM to love us and her unconditionally. I see them, not through her eyes, I see them through their communication with me. I see them through their stories of their lives, I see them through the expressions they use when talking about other people! My mom has been one hell of a rebel… she’s broken every mould and created her own… she’s truly a Rockstar!!

Just a quick note to all mommies already… Just want to make an observation… your child will look back at your life and appreciate the times you STOOD for something special and taught them the same. Know that you are being observed more closely by your child, more than anyone in the world. For in you they see their provider of all that they will every stand for! Find your own special power and let them inherit it from you.

Can’t get myself to edit this post… its just really special and dedicated to one of the most special women I NOW KNOW and truly APPRECIATE… yes … even when she’s finding new ways to get me into a frenzy…

Review the View

there have been only but a few other moments in my understanding that have left me so silent…

as my story continues to unfold through the experiences of each day. A new life awaits to be allowed and I am in awe.

As I look at the PERSPECTIVE from where I NOW stand, the view is breathtaking, a score to be cherished, for a decade back, the road seemed rather dusty and the path tough, having journeyed thus far, I have realised a dream. A dream of an independent mind free of the many thoughts that once were my reality. As I write this I am filled with gratitude for every twist and turn in my tale. Each moment has cautiously led me to this new highway of thoughts.

I look back and I see, the amazing truth of creation… ASK and YOU SHALL RECEIVE. It is such a fascinating journey with so much to be super happy about, some fantastic potholes that stopped me in my tracks… some brilliant people who said NO and made me ask “why not?”. Some beautiful angels who strengthened my resolve to walk strong and still more beautiful reasons to celebrate all the hurt.

Would you believe that I have achieved 100% of what I wanted back then today!! Its awesome, till I got down to counting, I didn’t realise how far I’d reached! Its been an absolute pleasure to have MUCH to be grateful for. Writing a journal has been the greatest gift of all… reading the pages of my own history of thought, I see the life I am living and NOW KNOW that this is EXACTLY what I had asked for, nothing more, nothing less. What is truly different now is the awareness of which thoughts became things and how important they were as part of that which I always wanted!!

It’s now time to write a new script that I’d truly like to read 10 years from now… for I KNOW that it will be as is THOUGHT now…

Welcome to my world, its a bright brilliant and vibrant space to be in. Its wonderful that people come here to simply sit in silence that the vibrations of this space may guide them to the greater meaning of their own lives and where they’re headed. This is indeed a place I’d once only dreamed of. As I walk through the long halls of this space, I see a million smile around me. These are my extended family, I’ve always found it so difficult to call them employees! These are the people that represent brand DeePositive each day in the 100 offices we have across the globe. Each of these people are here today to celebrate our first decade of Abundance.

At DeePositive, the beauty is that we actually have no structure to the madness, yet we’re a perfectly oiled machinery that continues to create more empowered people across the globe. We started off in a modest office back in 2010 with a dream of building a business that would create a more dedicated, enthusiastic, empowered and positive world. Here we are, NOW, setting the story for the next 10 years of growing and glowing with success and abundance.

We’re the most preferred LIFE COACHES for our corporate extensions, Our events, bring us so much joy, each of them now in their 9th edition, they’ve not only sustained, they’ve grown to be counted in the iconic events calendar across the regions in which they’re executed. My most favorite of all that I do, is my talk show, DeePositive Talking which has a phenomenal following and guess what we’ve even had my idol, Oprah on the show, isn’t that fantastic. Many dreams later, I work very closely with my first crush ever and the relationship we share is one of the most brilliant and fascinating realisations of all my success stories to tell. We work 5 days a week and its strictly business. On the 5th Day, each office is turned into a workshop, where we encourage the entire family to come together and create new products. Its truly awesome to see the family unit come together to empower each other in creating some fascinating limited edition merchandise we share with the world at large. These pieces are so exclusive, that quite often, you’ll find them in my office… they’re a part of my daily gratitude! We’ve brought back the passion of working together and taken it to an all new height and that is what is so amazing.

Today, we’re all gathered together, there are almost 10000 in the DeePositive family, celebrate what we call “Gratitude Weekend” when the teams from across our 100 offices meet online and offline to share an hour of raising new intentions for abundance for our brand, for our clients, for our families and most importantly for ourselves that we may continue to live in the expanded awareness of gratitude.

My fourth book is set to release today… I am grateful for the fantastic success of the first book, “I am DeePositive , In gratitude to ALL THAT IS for ALL THAT IS”, that inspired the millions who read it, to walk and talk a new path. It still makes me S.M.I.L.E! Today is also the day to announce our PET Project foundation… DeeHeaven… our home for senior citizens… its a fantastic gift that the government has helped us with. These homes are special for each of them is built with the intention of growing old with grace!!

…. I must stop now… for another chapter of history is waiting to be written….

I continue to remain in Gratitude to ALL THAT IS for ALL THAT IS!!