A Woman of Substance…. My Mom!

Yesterday was a super special day for me! It was a day of new found appreciation for a very special person in my life. I am a very proud daughter of a very very solid woman of substance. today I dedicate a post to a woman I have fought with so often, that I can’t keep count and yet, I adore her in more ways than all the words in this post can ever express.

I would like to proudly introduce you to my best friend and greatest enemy… my mom…. Blossom Rao. It takes a million experiences to get myself to write this post and yesterday, bundled it all into one big awesome need to truly celebrate my mother.

Through my years of growing up, I found a million faults it the way she managed her life, often fought with her when we didn’t agree on things. I’ve made her feel awfully guilty for putting so much responsibility on my young shoulders. Damn… l’ve given her enough grief to deal with ;). She has filled me with a million fears that keep me from taking a step without consulting her, moved me to WANT more from my own life, from relationships, from the world.

Yesterday, as I spent the day helping my grandmother from the hospital to her new home, the senior citizens home. I realised how special my mother is to me. I realised how of the million reasons I have to call her my greatest PAIN are in fact the million reasons she stands out amongst the crowds of people I know.

Born to her parents rather late in their lives, my mother was a BRAT…. and might I add still is!! In a very brilliant way, she’s allowed the child in her to continue to be inspite of every challenge she has faced. Her true  test really began at the awesome age of 29 when her husband and my father, wrote her a letter telling her that he was marrying another woman and that she should put the 3 of us in school and find herself a job! Damn…. Can you imagine what that moment must’ve been like!!! I dread to imagine it myself…. and yet here, I am trying to reconstruct a drama that gave the BRAT reason to prove to the world that she IS!!

Abandoned by family, she began the long journey of life, being reminded more often than not, in almost a diabetic way, that her life was a mess because of the millions of wrong decisions she’d taken… and yet, with each decision she’d managed to bring up 3 vibrant young women and take care of her deaf aged mother in a rather “Male Dominated” city of Delhi. She prayed her way through getting us into school… a miracle… of meeting two old students of her school who were now the Head Mistress and Principal of Convent of Jesus and Mary. Working at the school and tuitions each evening for us to get our meals. Family gatherings were often marked with mentions of how she came late… I wonder why no one ever thought how traumatic it would’ve been for her to bring her broken self and under dressed children to these HIGH SOCIETY family events. Where, while on ONE hand we were hugged and kissed and showered with attention. There was never a moment’s respite of PITY for “THE GIRLS” or a taunt or two, for Blossom who was always late!! Each time would’ve been a DIG where it hurt!! There were a million people, family to tell her where she was wrong and how they had been hard done by her!

My deepest gratitude to the few people who truly knew her for the bundle of sheer power she is. I only just discovered it :)) They saw her for the awesomeness of power for which she is known and loved and deep within she is but a GIRL!

And to the rest of them… Thank you… You made MOM the ROCK SOLID woman she is… She fought so hard to keep afloat INTERNALLY that strangers were a piece of cake!! God Bless you truly… and you know who you are… names will betray all that Mom has ever stood for to this day… and so I am going to respect that!

It is surprising that in 33 years of my life with her, I was always made to see what was NOT RIGHT with her. By her own!!! I have heard numerous stories about all the things that were not quite right about her. It hurts me NOW to think, that these are the people who I believed while growing up stood for something more important and valuable. Today I see them for who they are… and I see my mother tower above them… way above!!! It is such a gratifying experience to know that I was born of a woman who stands for something more solid than wealth! I it humbling to know that I am in her list of priorities immaterial of anything I have ever said to hurt her, knowingly and unknowingly. I am blessed to have a mother who still speaks so warmly of the very people who shunned her and taunted her when all she really needed was for them to tell her they’re there, unconditionally. I am filled with even more gratitude, that Mommy allowed me the freedom to draw my own conclusions about these people, while still holds the good in them close to her heart.

I have seen promises being broken and her heart being torn… I have seen her cry for attention and I have seen her cry from pain… I have see her in a temper and I’ve seen her calm and composed. I have seen her drink herself to sleep and pray that the day that followed would be different. I now see her strong and completely in charge of her life… and I see her obsession with farmville as an expression that she is OKAY with being on her own.

It isn’t JUST because she’s my mother, that I see what is special about her… today I see her as a woman, to a woman … I see the waywardness of my own affection… I see the truth of the people who CLAIM to love us and her unconditionally. I see them, not through her eyes, I see them through their communication with me. I see them through their stories of their lives, I see them through the expressions they use when talking about other people! My mom has been one hell of a rebel… she’s broken every mould and created her own… she’s truly a Rockstar!!

Just a quick note to all mommies already… Just want to make an observation… your child will look back at your life and appreciate the times you STOOD for something special and taught them the same. Know that you are being observed more closely by your child, more than anyone in the world. For in you they see their provider of all that they will every stand for! Find your own special power and let them inherit it from you.

Can’t get myself to edit this post… its just really special and dedicated to one of the most special women I NOW KNOW and truly APPRECIATE… yes … even when she’s finding new ways to get me into a frenzy…