An Open Letter: Thank you for breaking my heart :)

I really want to THANK YOU for the joy you've unknowingly given me... I guess I didn't realise the power of this trip till I finally took the decision to take the flight to GOA. The joy I've felt since I reached the city is phenomenal... last year I came here and my Professional life took a turn for the best. This year I knew it was to be a year of PERSONAL breakthrough and so, it is proving to be.

God knows what's best... I believe that more now than ever... it broke my heart to see our plan go down in sinking sand. It hurt so bad when I first felt it... I was horrified at the way I felt... Yet it presented itself as an opportunity to back off with my dignity intact. Loving you is my LEARNING and in ACCEPTING the LESSON... my release. The discovery is that my attachment to you really has more to do with LEARNING than loving and in accepting that I've released all the bad feelings. Maybe, the only reason God introduced you into my life was to help me understand myself better and learn to love being my own person.

I have never doubted you love me... just that maybe... we're both looking for a very specific type of relationship and both of us are very SURE of what we want... we've changed stances over and over again to accommodate each other. I can vouch for the many changes I've seen through the 2 and a half years of knowing you and I really do appreciate all the changes you've made to TRY and adjust to us being together :) As we continue to evolve personally so do our relationships with each other and with God, in whom we both TRUST, far more than we know it ;)

I know God puts us through these phases to teach us something new... each time a new lesson appears!!! It is beautiful to see how magnificent God's love is in our lives...HIS PURPOSE is reflected through the FIRST EXPERIENCES of our relationship. You are a bouquet of firsts for me and I am truly grateful for ALL THE GOOD and the NOT SO GOOD that have come from our knowing each other. I know there's lot more to come... God's using us in each other's lives to REFINE us into GOLD... Our ACCEPTING this will make the hills and valleys an adventure!!!

I truly wish we could've used this GOA time to REDEFINE our KNOWING... Yet, God seemed to have different plans... I wish I knew them... falling off the HAPPINESS of BEING with you DREAM has landed me in the lap of God's plan for my life... and it's making me SMILE... for I know that HIS plans are always better than our plans.

Please forgive me if I reacted immediately to you breaking my heart... it took a while to ALLOW GOD to pick up the pieces with me and enable able to see you through his love for me more than always wanting to see me through your love for me!!!

Have yourself a MERRY CHRISTMAS and blessed 2011

I love you... for you're Jesus' gift of LEARNING to ME!!!

Our Greatest Good…

…. Is rooted in our greatest brood: DeePositive

December has always been a special month of beginnings and endings… I end a year of growing older and begin a year of growing stronger

This year 2010 has been a super special experience, just the mention of it as part of this piece is making me smile… the most important discovery of the year well is “Dee”  

The year opened with a life decision “I need to take a chance and begin my own company… I need to take this chance NOW”

January: The year began with a very powerful reunion with my roots… my school friends… with whom I shared my dreams and even though they must’ve thought I’d lost the plot, they were super supportive and very effective in bringing me to the point of confidence to take the BIG STEP… I went back to Mumbai…Quit Mirchi, closed shop in Mumbai moved to Delhi… 26th January… well… the day I closed a chapter and started the next. Armed with nothing more than a dream of creating a brand “DeePositive”… there was a definite plan… 5 people… and a 12 month plan  

A month later… 26th of February… my first event as co coordinator, for a fee (I’m still waiting for), of the 5 people, 4 changed their priorities, with their own brands making progress… I was still waiting to write the first chapter of my book…. and everything seemed to be in a state of “OOPS!!!!!!”. Nothing more embarrassing really, that having to cut corners on my WANTS to focus on DeePositive needs!!! It was the time when all of the speculation starts…. AM I??? SHOULD I???? WOULD I???? CAN I???? WILL I???? WON’T I!!!! Oh the questions that the KNOWING posses… often put me into a state of “GIVE UP NOW!!! GET BACK INTO A JOB!!!! YOU NEED THE FREAKING MONEY!!!!

March was really a month of taking the first steps toward sanity…. a brilliant opportunity knocked at my door… and I was tempted to say YES at ALLOW a new direction to begin!! I bought my Dell Laptop… it affirmed a step in some direction, I learnt that the basics will present themselves for my direction to begin… and it did… I began writing my book!!! Felt awesome, knowing that I had taken the first BABY step… As I began writing the book… a phenomenal direction began to unfold… friends backing out had earlier made me sad… and yet… as the book began to write itself… I understood… that I must follow the LEAD and accept things as they come!!!

April, another month of breakthrough understanding of the direction… I met Abraham Hicks through the book “Ask and It is Given… A deeper meaning to my book was revealed and the content of the book began to take shape… Inspired by the absolute raising of my vibration into the space of I AM and life became a series of interesting discoveries… cherished even more, since they revealed the path the book would take and the path I was headed towards…. GRATITUDE to ALL THAT IS for ALL THAT IS became my central point of FOCUS and inspired by the complete DeePositive Experience… I began a new journey… revealed to me by the book!!!

May- July was a  trimester of DELVING PROBING and DISCUSSING my book. My best friend and guide through this phase, a friend, Hormaz, who is really my SPIRITUAL PARTNER, for our conversation led to breakthroughs and new learning's. My greatest gift through my work was KNOW ALLOW ACCEPT MANIFEST!!!!   The power healing Mantra of DeePositive living. Suddenly, people began to appear on the horizon and new relationships were beginning to be forged… yet there was a longing inside of me… the events part of my quest took a backseat… and I chose to ALLOW the knowledge of the book to take seed and grow from my sub conscious knowing to my conscious knowing. The beauty… I started magnetising, counseling practices, with a number of people and I continued to sample the DeePositive Power tool with many, keeping a close tab on their progress… and my joy doubled with each person… for I began to see the life purpose of DeePositive unfold through their experiences into their lives… and I can promise you… it was an all time HIGH!!!

August was a dip, I guess the HIGH was so high that I needed to be brought back to “INFLICTED REALITY” to be able to truly understand the progress I made… Relationships went wrong, people weren’t as forthcoming, dreams were built, all of this, a TEMPORARY high. My awareness seemed to be more in the conscious KNOWING ALLOWING ACCEPTING and MANIFESTING. Not a pretty space to be in… my expectations were dashed and I was back to the drawing board… I needed to affirm a direction and set upon it… ONE BABY STEP AT A TIME!!!

September… brought me straight back to my INTENTION, well, only after another dream crashed Lucky me that the dream crashed… lucky me that I was suddenly reminded through GRATITUDE that my INTENTIONS were far different from that which I was paying ATTENTION to… and thus in faith I was moved to take another baby step … Registering DeePositive Intertainment Private Limited… the company I intended to form on my return to Delhi. Gratitude to ALL THAT IS for ALL THAT IS!!! I knew, that announcing it would make me commit to it and that is exactly what I managed to do… and the company registration became the central reason to continue to follow the path of Gratitude and pay attention to our INTENTIONS. My community on Orkut celebrated 3 whole years and a bumper 6000 members… BLESSED truly BLESSED and MANIFESTING!!!

October was the bumper opening. We get to know our investments will be STUCK for another 3 years…. and suddenly MONEY becomes the SORE POINT… I begin to understand that my awareness is in the LACK and therefore, I am attracting more LACK. Evelyn picked up a couple of weddings and we were on our way. As we continued our journey a number of new associates began to show up…. we began to pick up new event briefs… we began to meet people and sniff out new business and clearly focused on enjoying exactly what we did… nothing feels better than knowing that you’re getting to be the best you can be at what you do. We needed to take a very quick decision on the path forward and we knew if we got this intention RIGHT… we’re heading in the right direction ONE BABY STEP AT A TIME!!!

November has always been a bumper month… We picked up our first private party… we confirmed opening events for our 2011 calendar… New clients found us and opened conversation. Somewhere in all of this… the BOOK found itself a new set of publishers… manuscripts sent… it is the time to stand still and remain in Gratitude as it takes the path it is meant to… and it begins to EVOLVE into a book that the masses flock to buy… the SHORTEST best seller in the country I find myself in awe of Gratitude as I begin to receive by intention. I am excited to receive abundance of God’s love… I am BLESSED and I KNOW IT!!!

Come December… the big plans are ready to be rolled out… I know it’s the month of my birthday and the right time to express total an utter Gratitude for the fascinating and manifesting year it has been… Professionally gratifying and spiritually abundant… A year that MANY only DREAM of and only FEW realise!!! I am in Gratitude to ALL THAT IS for ALL THAT IS!!!