A toast to my little girl :)

In that one moment all changed… I do not know how best to explain what happened… I just knew that something did and I was blessed just having you around a breath away…

It took a million thoughts for me to reach here… and now that I am here I know the reason for this long wait. God knew best… and now… I do too

Sometimes there are reasons for things so rotten to happen for they convey the fact that good things happen too. There is love in the air… and now she knows just how it feels to be blessed.

Did she know that a thought just whispered years ago… maybe under her breath… would be a dream come true

All the heartache of broken relationships of the past cannot help her understand the NOW of how she feels

Had you told her 3 days before, that the date was upon her… she would’ve laughed in your face… with a sad twinkle in the eye… this was all she wanted… but knew not when it would come by… and now… we are but 14 days away from her dream come true… she cries like a child and says… "you know what Di… I already miss you."

To me even a bride… a baby she will be. Her tears make my heart bleed… even if they are tears of joy. I know that she loves him… and someday soon she will be his… what I know more confidently is that the love she has for us… well her family that is … will only grow deeper as her days to be at home grow less.

In her tears… was the joy of being loved so much that nothing would ever be the same. A peek into her eyes will give you a glimpse of all that she ever dreamed of … all lit up… and eagerly awaiting 070707 when in the presence of all who are most precious to her.

Our little girl has now come of age… and soon she will be his wife. I know that in my heart I am not losing her… I am only gaining a brother… and mom, well a son.

Precious Lord, thank you for the wonderful gift of love… thank you for bringing them together… to love and honour each other

DeeTalk

in keeping with the tradition of writing what comes to my mind.... i am writing this particular blog...

just the other day as i chatted away to glory on a subject that is close to my heart... and yet so far away from my being... i knew internally what the subject of my next blog would be... but what i did not know... well is how it is gonna read... so here i am, writing impromtu ... again... at the risk of losing out on the flow... yet retaining all the thoughts gushing at full speed through a tired mind.

in comes the request for help... and my mind starts looking for solutions... wondering totally WHY i need to take on this new assignment... and yet... i know i have the internal faculty to handle the maddness as well as get a feel for all the things that seem so irrelevant.

it was at about 5:30 pm and we were all set to go out and walk the streets.... readily wanting to spend hard cash... not knowing exactly what were out looking for...

we walked into the first store... and found a few million things we would like to buy... but I guess the fear of finishing all the currency was what took the front row seat in our minds... and so.... after spending a good 45 minutes... well we walked out of there with a few pictures and a visiting card... promising to return the next day to pick up the wares...

at the next shop... well which is a place i quite love... but don't frequent too often... for budgetary reasons... since my head rules my pocket... of course... the only time it does not... which is when the little devil of my family is out with me... well with her the scenario is rather different... most often you return from a shopping trip with more stuff for her.... and without all the things that you actually went to buy.... anyway... let me come back to the next shop... or else this will read like an essay on "my little sister".... i knew i would not feel wonderful if i did not shop for me... and so... well i did... realised later.... that i was not meant to spend money, i was meant to get him to spend :)

wow... if that was not enough... we landed up driving to the other side... to YET ANOTHER.... market place... and walking in the heat to YET ANOTHER set of shops... my patience was kinda losing its space on the cliff... almost hanging over the top... and slipping... i kept praying that i may not let the SELF take control.... for knowing the self... is knowing... BLUNT GRIEF... grief that has no HEART or SOUL and cares two hoots for the emotions of anyone... other than the self.

EUREKA!!! he did shop.... and i did make sure that i did not feel like a complete dope... simply hanging around... As i walked out of this shop... i almost knew why i was hanging around doing something i totally hate... i knew i had a karmic debt to pay... and sadly... heavily so. i knew i would walk the street shopping for someone else's special day like it was almost my own... that evening i went home... far richer in experiencing the happiness on his face...

in all good faith... and a hundred mumblings under my breath... and maybe a freak smile or two... the shopping trip continued... internally the voice seemed so freakin upset... and showed its disagreement... my feet were swelling... unwilling to walk the talk.... and in the middle of it all i almost got handed over the phone to talk to someone i did not know... and in all honesty... i do not want to know either... for very obvious reasons....

I guess what i was really meant to learn on this particular day... was well... to know that sometimes you need to live your life like it was the last day of it... the self does not matter... but the soul finds NIRVANA in being available to significant others... for every human is connected by the soul... and the soul finds its peace in being avaible to other souls... even if ....