dee think... thinkin dee :)

As I write this note I am thinking of all the positive things in my life… and I find no reason to stand back and stand still and wait for life to happen… life is beautiful game of everyday thoughts that become our everyday realities.

I slip into the world of activations and suddenly… there is a bolt of knowingness… the shadows I always wanted to flee from … surround me… and I feel the rush of the known in the heart of every feeling… there is a sense of belonging… even though this is the place I feared most to tread… I know not where this beauty comes from and yet I am an integral part of it.

As the days turn to weeks, I find myself standing still waiting for a miracle to happen… and what I don’t realize… is that in all of this … the miracle really is already manifested… the miracle called ME.

I run again… further away and I fall… I hurt myself quite knowingly… from the thoughts of the past that fill my day… my feet bleed and yet there is NO respite in sight… I am hurting from a different pain… the pain of indifference… caused by my own deepest fears. I ran away from this so long and now I find myself in the middle of the very fear that kept me running.

I ask myself… why must I land up standing alone in this space and feel the power of my greatest fear manifest itself in the realm of the living… I am alone… I have always been and this time I must stand tall and face my fear… It is MY time… and the time is right for me to truly face it … bravely and most definitely… for life may not give me another chance at facing the same fear… the form will be different and I will always wonder if I was truly meant to be in this place at this time… show me I ask myself … the future of where I truly stand… and here… goes my spirit… the higher self… I am… reveals its beauty in the most endearing manner… and I know that I am strong enough and confident enough to beat the competition hollow and learn a new lesson… for in facing my greatest fear is my greatest success.

I make it through the first week… I am scared, I know though … that I will conquer this as well.. I will lead the way to the golden light that awaits and beckons my presence… I know I am the light that leads… and the direction in which the world goes forward is but the space I need to indent every experience… and learn every lesson. I may be bruised… but I haven’t yet given up… I know I shall succeed… I will be happy in the land of the loving… for living means learning to love that which the creator has destined for you to have… and what you shall have is that which your heart most desires… and that which your heart most desires will be born of the soul… the soul of who you are the very reason for being created. All opposition shall fall around you and you shall bask in the Glory of the presence.